Adding some furniture and a whole lotta color...

I apologize if the vast majority of you have already seen the pics of our house finished on Facebook.  I figured my work on the house warranted a blog post.  It kind of consumed my life for 4 feverish days as I hussled to get things settled before the family's decent upon KC.

Here's the front of the house.  It hasn't really hasn't changed much at all aside from the mountains of leaves from the sourrounding trees, and the slightly less vibrant shade of green of the grass (think instead...brown)

The only other major differences are that we now have a mailbox and the windows are actually covered.  Here's to not living in a fishbowl! 

I'll try to lay this out in terms of before and after photos.  I'm not sure how well that's going to work, but we'll see.

Foyer Before:

Note that the color of the walls is kind of a khaki color.  Also note that the light fixtures are reminiscent of breasts.  I always wonder why it's okay to have a light fixture that clearly looks like a boob.  You don't see light fixtures all over the place that look like testicles.  Seems unfair...but I digress.  I also didn't particularly dig the fact that the light fixture was an opaque amber color.  This picture has freakish amounts of light in it, but in reality, the house doesn't have a ton of natural light.  Seemed like problem.

Foyer After: 

So you can see that we drastically lightened the color of the room.  In addition, we've added light fixtures that don't really resemble any male or female naughty parts.  I painted some craziness on the curved wall and added greenery and art.  (Don't be fooled by the greenery, though...it's totally fake.  Chai would destroy any real plant we brought into our home within a matter of minutes.) 

Hearth Room Before:

Okay, so it's going to become abundantly clear by looking at all the before pictures, that these were professionally taken, and with a wide angle.  So here's the hearth room.  The light fixture has those lame tulip light globes, the metal is oil rubbed bronze, and again, the light globes are opaque amber colored.  Against the brownish khaki walls, there wasn't a ton of light.

Hearth Room After: 

Okay, so here, you'll see that we changed the color of the walls to a lighter color, painted some crazyness on the wall, mounted a tv, added some furniture, some art, and changed the light fixture.  Out of all the rooms in the house, I think this one is the least done.  The walls that are straight ahead and to the right are pretty white.  I'm waiting on a friend of mine to paint some wicked art for me to brighten up the walls.

Kitchen Before:

The Kitchen was pretty okay...well, for most people. Since I'm what one would call "particular", I had a lot of beef with it. I hated the doors of the cabinets because of the country looking arch at the top. I hated the pulls on the doors. I hated the light fixture, the backsplash, and the fact that the appliances were black and not stainless. Don't worry, folks...I took care of business!

Kitchen After:

I made this photo obnoxiously large for several reasons:
1) A small photo doesn't do it justice because the new backsplash is amazeballs and needs to be seen larger.
2) It's my favorite part of the house
3) In it's small size you can't see all the differences.

Speaking of differences, the most obvious are the paint colors, the addition of the fridge, swapping the appliances out for stainless, the light fixtures, the cabinet doors, and the cabinet door pulls.  This is pretty much my ideal, aside from the faucet.  It's the last bit of oil rubbed broze to banish from our place.

Dining Room Before:



The dining area is right off the kitchen.  Really, aside from the paint color, all this room needed was a different light fixture, some furniture, and some color.

Dining Room After:

Blam.  Added some furniture, some window treatments, some art, and a bookshelf of knick knacks.  Oh, and we changed the paint color and light fixture.

Master Bedroom Before:

All this room really needed was some furniture and color.

Master Bedroom After:

 

Upstairs Guest Bedroom Before:

Upstairs Guest Bedroom After:

Great Room Before:

Great Room After:

Downstairs Guest Bedroom Before:

Downstairs Guest Bedroom After:



The Anniversary Edition:

In honor of our 4th Indian wedding anniversary, I thought it would be nice to do a post dedicated to Sudhir.  (He's the cute one on the left, btw)  I'm not an overly emotional or gushy kinda gal, but once a year, I like to make it abundantly clear just how lucky I feel to have him in my life.  So babe, here ya go: The top 25 reasons I love being married to you (in no particular order)

1. You're tall, dark and handsome.  Awesome? Yes. The only reason?  Hellz no...there are 24 more to go.
2. You are adorable while you sleep (even when you're wheezing like crazy because you won't listen to me and just take a claritin)
3. You don't judge me when I eat an entire box of Weight Watchers Sundae Cones (or if you do, you hide it pretty well)
4. You smell fantastic
5. You understand that sometimes, when I've had a terrible day, I don't want to talk about it...even a little.  Instead, you try to cheer me up by recounting Chai's antics throughout the day.
6. You loved me enough to leave the only place you knew for your whole life just to make me happy.  Not many people would leave the glitz and glamour of NYC for the midwest.  I appreciate you doing this every single day.
7. You keep my feet warm when they're cold at night.
8. You always tell me I'm crazy when I try something on and ask you if I look chubby.
9. You didn't eat in front of me during my starvation diet because you thought it would make me cry.  You basically had sympathy anorexia.
10. You humor my crazy OCD tendencies (i.e. symmetry, cleanliness, etc etc. etc.)
11. You don't even get mad that I'm basically right all the time.  Okay, not all the time:  You were right.  You can only fit one king size blanket into our washer.
12. You love Chai.
13. You love my friends.
14. You love my family.
15. You're hilarious unintentionally.
16. You're kindness exceeds any expectation I could have set.
17. You're patient beyond belief (which is necessary to put up with me, ask MG)
18. I get to claim all your awesome friends and family as my own now.
19. You'll watch a Golden Girls marathon with me and not even complain.
20. You're not mad that I pretended to like baseball while we were dating.
21. You dislike nature and water almost as much as I do. 
22. You make me the best breakfasts every day before work.  Seriously, those waffles are amazeballs.
23. You love me more than ice cream (trust me people, that's serious.)
24. You always try to make me take medicine when I'm not feeling good but then always end with "So you want to let your body's natural defenses fight it off?  Okay."
25. You went with me at midnight  to see the Twilight Movies, even though you hate them, and you're pretty sure they stripped you of your man card for doing it.

Obviously this doesn't even scratch the surface, but this is what came out when I started typing, so I guess I'll just go with it.  Anyway, happy anniversary, babe!  Love ya! <3

Updates after a long hiatus...

I apologize for my lack of blogging as of late.  I wish I had some really great excuse, but the fact is, I was busy moving into our new house, and I have had a woeful lack of material to write about.  Instead of waiting for something epic to discuss, I've opted instead to give you a manic and detached update of random things that have happened in the last month or so.

Thing #1: I met my new niece, Ada.
I flew to NYC the week after returning from Mexico and met my BFF's new baby, Ada.  She is, of course, perfect in every way.  In the process, I taught my awesome godson, Dylan, how to say my name.  Okay, so it sounded a lot like Affie, but cut him a break: he's not even 2 yet.  Turns out, he actually remembers me and can point to a picture of me and say my name!  SUCCESS!!!  I got to see my bro and sis-in-law's new home, spend some time at my parent's in law, and meet up with an old coworker.  Not bad for a weekend.  The only downer was that there were a few people who I would have LOVED to have seen.  Sadly, it wasn't in the cards because there simply wasn't enough time and I'm an a-hole who didn't give them much notice.  By this, I mean that I sent a text when I landed at LGA.  I honestly had forgotten I was going to NYC in the process of closing on the house, going to Mexico, and packing up the apartment. 

Thing #2: Moving into our new home at record speeds.
Many people will tell you that I have a passion for decorating.  Many people will also tell you that I'm kind of a crazy person who likes to have pictures on the wall the day I move in because I want it to feel like home, and I want it NOW.  Yes, these things are all true.  This, however, was a lot of house, and it's hard to settle and make everything perfect so fast.  The thing that sped it all up (probably for the better) is that my brother and sister-in-law and my cousin (okay, Sudhir's cousin, but I stole her) were coming to visit 5 days after the move in day.  In that amount of time, we got all our funiture, appliances, the house painted, our kitchen backsplash replaced, all the pictures hung, all the knick knacks placed, and all the beds made.  I consider this a win.  At some point, when I remember to actually bring my camera home from work, I will take some after pics and post them.  I'm pretty happy with the way everything turned out.

Thing #3: Turning in the keys to the penthouse.
It may seem kind of trivial, but it was really sentimental to me.  That was a killer place.  It provided many a friend refuge from driving intoxicated.  It was a great central location, I could walk to work, and most importantly: It was our first place together in Kansas City.  *tear*

Thing #4: Our first Thanksgiving not traveling.
This was our first Thanksgiving not going to either NJ or MI for the holiday.  I thought it would be really sad and depressing, but honestly, it was kind of awesome not having to travel on the busiest travel days of the year.  We saved a ton of money that was put to good use (like buying a fridge) and we spent the holidays with great friends.  I kind of like this new tradition of doing our own thing for Thanksgiving.  We can have a big meal with family at a time that the airlines aren't trying price gouge us.  The good news is that both our families are coming to visit us next week... Score!

Thing #5: Chai got sick. Again.
It turns out that once a quarter, Chai is going to get sick and we're going to have to take him to the Animal ER. The good news is that our new house is really close to one.  Also good news, the cost was about 1/6th of what it usually was.  The bad news is that there are few sounds that are more haunting and terrible than your cat wailing as it receives an enema and IV.  Seriously, no wonder the kitty hates going in the car.  Everytime he does so, someone sticks a first up his bum.

The Napkin of Mexico

So this past weekend, the hubs, myself, and a bunch of friends went to Cozumel, Mexico to watch our dear friends MG and JS get hitched.  I can't think of many better ways to spend a weekend, honestly.  During the course of our 4 days in Mexico, a lot of really awesome stuff went down.  So much so, that one night, while we were at the "late night" restaurant eating some questionable pizza, Cec, the hubs and I wrote some of it down.  We managed to fill the front and back of 4 sides of a giant napkin with little anecdotes for me to blog about when I got home.  I shared said napkin with KT as we awaited the departure of our plane.  Sadly, the napkin was lost in a tragic twist of fate.  The bad news is that we lost it and it was funny.  The good news is two fold: I have a photographic memory so I didn't need it anymore anyway...AND...some lucky bastard is going to stumble upon it and either get a huge kick out of it or be highly confused.

Before I launch into the extremely long list of funny, let me start by saying the following:

This wedding was one of the most moving ceremonies that I've ever attended.  It's no surprise to those who know me, but I'm kind of an unemotional bastard.  I don't typically cry at movies or weddings, or when babies are born.  I will go on the record as saying that I cried (heavily) at three different points during this wedding.  That's pretty intense for me.  MG made for a beautiful bride and she looked positively joyful.  The ceremony was just so...I don't know..."Them."  I simply couldn't be happier for them.  It's really clear that they're perfect for one another.

Okay, that being said, now to the funny/odd/interesting stuff.

The day of 8 modes of transportation
Auto: we started at 5:30am by driving to pick up Cec and KT and heading to the Parking Spot where be got onto a
Bus: which we took to the terminal (only to realize I forgot my phone in the car.  No biggie except for I took the trouble to add the international data plan) and back to the Parking Spot and then back to the terminal where we got onto a
Plane: which we took to Dallas and then had to switch terminals so we got onto a
Train: A skylink to be precise.  We rode that to the next terminal and got onto another
Plane: which we took to Cancun.  We missed the ferry to Cozumel so we hung out at Senor Frog's for a couple hours.  At Senor Frogs, we were tortured because apparently, our F-off faces weren't secured well enough.  They made fun of me for drinking water, shot me with a tank of Helium, and also pretended to be a cockroach crawling on my leg.
Awesome.  Eventually, we got on the
Ferry:  There are few things in this world that I hate more than being on a boat.  Well, add to it the fact that it was extremely rough waters, it was packed with people, and smelled like a gas spill.  You basically have a recipe for disaster.  Everyone I was with passed out and took a little siesta, while I tried to think of ways to not vomit in my purse.  Once we got off the ferry in Cozumel, we got into a
Van: which we took all the way to the Occidental Grand Resort where we traveled by
Foot: Through a jungle on a path filled with wildlife (also high up on the list of things I hate) to our rooms.

I'll spare you the excruciating detail on the rest of the trip.  Let's just say that after our long and arduous journey on Thursday, things got a whole heck of a lot better.  MG and JS roll with an extremely fun bunch of people and I think it says a lot that 35 of those people hauled their little booties across the Mexican border to watch them get hitched.  What can we say?...we love those crazy kids.

So here's the rest of it, grouped by person it involved.

KT: After our long day of travel, I felt pretty terrible.  I mean, my head was POUNDING.  We're all sitting in the lobby bar and I'm trying not to look miserable.  All of a sudden, KT turns to me with a very serious look and says "Do you think they have straws here?" I said that they probably didn't since I hadn't seen any.  To which she responds with an extremely serious face "This is gonna be a long weekend."

At another point, KT puts on a dress that she got from a friend.  For some reason, she thought it looked less than respectable.  I knocked on her door to go down to dinner and she opens the door and again, with a very serious face, "Do I look like a huge whore?" 

Also later on in the evening, while we were all hanging out outside of the Discotecha, she looks at all of us very seriously (MG in particular) and says "Man, I hate the sun, the ocean, and drinking.  Oh, and I hate all of you too.  This sucks."

Cec:  Cec is what we'd call a "Food snob".  At one point, she accused the resort of abusing potato flakes in the guacamole and eggs.  She may or may not have said that after she said the following: "Whoa, I just went from 0-100 in drunkness in 10 minutes flat."

There was also a funny situation during the wedding rehearsal that Cec and I shared.  It started monsooning and we were already in the pool.  When it monsoons, it gets pretty cold. Therefore, we didn't want to get out of the pool.  Staying in the pool was difficult too because the rain was so hard, it was hitting the surface of the pool and bouncing up into our faces.  We decided to pull a MacGyver and grab a pool chair and use it as a fort.  Evidence:

A Jill (reporter on the beat): This chick is quite possibly the funniest person to ever walk the face of the planet.  Sadly, I wasn't awake when she arrived into Cozumel.  However, I heard this story about how MG and others led her to the ocean (which she hadn't ever seen aside from in Japan) and she stared up at the sky and the water and said "Is this real life?" I didn't get it until I saw that amazeball video clip about the kid on Nitrous Oxide after the dentist.

Also hilarious was a conversation at the pool in which she said that it was on her 30 before 30 to see Iguana Poop.  Check and Check.

Anorexia is so much more effective than WW...

I'm probably going to get a new stream of hate-mail based on the title of this post...but I'm going to say it anyway, well...because it's true.  For 4 months, I ate very very little and took a whole lot of pills and it was really effective.  I lost 45 pounds.  In an effort to save some money, and because it seemed like my insulin resistance issues were under control, I broke up with the bariatric doctor and embarked on the Weight Watchers journey.

Here's what's been happening since then:
Week 1: up .6lbs
Week 2: down 2.4 lbs
Week 3: up 1.2 lbs.
Week 4: stayed exact same.

Today I weigh in for week number 5.
Is it me or does it seem like I keep gaining and losing the same 4 pounds??

I'm headed to Mexico for MG's nuptuals in a few days.  It's highly unlikely that I'll be tracking my points...however, I do plan on making decent choices.  I guess I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

No Longer Public Enemy #1: Aarti of Aarti Party.

***Post publishing edit***

Apparently, I'm a huge jerkface.  Aarti herself posted a comment on this blog and now I feel like a total schmuck.  I said some terrible things considering I don't even know this person.  My rage blackout was probably uncalled for.  Anyway, I never watched this show before, but based on the fact that she didn't come at me with the fire of 10,000 suns, I've concluded she's a classy gal and I should probably check it out.  Anyway, I'll leave the original post below along with the comments.  Seriously, I promise I'm not a terrible person.  Ask my Maid of Honor, she said I was dramatic in her toast.  Here's your proof:

***Original Post Below***

Get to know this face, readers.  This is the face of my nemesis.  This is the face that will be punched if I ever happen to cross paths with it.  Why?  She has single handedly destroyed over 3 decades of conditioning people to say my name correctly.  For this, she must suffer.

So perhaps you don't watch the Food Network.  This monstrosity pronounces her name as though it rhymes with the word "party" spoken with a British accent.  For years, I've had to deal with the task of correcting people when they say my non-phonetically spelled name.  I'm sure that at times, one faced with such a task might feel the urge to just give up.  To just...I don't know, go with the mispronunciation of said name.  I can see that being an acceptable outcome if you're name is Trina and people keep saying "Treeena".  Both names sound appropriate to be a girl's name.  Both are relatively pretty.  However, when your name is spelled "Arti" and it's pronounced "Arthi", it is NOT okay.  Why?  Because one sounds like a skinny french dude smoking a cigarette and eating a baguette.  It's not pretty.  It's not even remotely girly sounding.

I can completely understand how someone who has never met me but only seen my name in print would think my name is prounced "Arty".  However, the shortest path to the top of my shit-list is to repeatedly mispronounce my name when you've met me a dozen times.  (At least, that's what I thought the shortest path was...)

It appears now, the shortest path to the top of my shit-list is to NOT use your celebrity to just make my life easier by telling the goddamn truth.  Your name is not pronounced to rhyme with "party" pronounced with a British accent, my friend.  Your name is the same as mine.  Maybe you should just deal with your lot in life and stop being such a lazy pants.  If you really wanted to have a clever name that rhymes, you could have used the only word that rhymes with our names in the english dictionary; "Swarthy"  It's also an adjective that describes us perfectly.

Dumb Ass.

It's official, I'm Old.

I don't know when it happened, but it happened.  I became a grown up.  Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad.  I get to partake in some really neat stuff, like voting and having a 401K, but I also get to look back and compare the old me to the current me.  Sometimes I'm impressed, sometimes I'm depressed.  It's a rollercoaster of emotions, really.

What brought about all this self examination?  I think it probably has something to do with my participation in the Crawl for Cancer.  This is an event where 10 people, wearing matching shirts, parade around an area of Kansas City called Westport, in the hopes that somehow drinking copious amounts of beer will help find a cure for Cancer.  I hate to ruin the ending for you, we don't find it.  This event used to be a thing of such great anticipation for me.  I participated in it every year before I left KC for the east coast.  Some of the most fun/best times I can (sorta) remember are from the Crawl. 

Fast forward 5 years and I hate to admit it, I probably would have enjoyed a marathon of the O.C. or the Golden Girls more.

Okay, so maybe it had a little something to do with the fact that I'm not drinking much (or at all) lately.  Being one of the drunken idiots is one thing. Babysitting/Witnessing all the idiocy is entirely another.  There's something truly heinous about the weird things I witnessed on Saturday.  I think it was made all the more horrifying because all of it happened before the sun actually set.  Some bars are just not meant to be seen in the light of day.  It's like seeing the characters at Disney World taking their smoke break in their costumes...it really ruins the fantasy, ya know?

I hate to say it, but I almost wish I hadn't gone this year.  I would have preferred to remember the old me's version of that event.  Now I have to deal with the current me's attitude towards it and it makes me feel downright old.  Next thing you know, I'll be a crotchety old woman referring to "kids these days" or "these whippersnappers."  Ack.  At least if I hadn't gone, I could remain delusional and convince myself that I'd still totally enjoy watching people stumble around in ridiculous balloon hats at 2pm on a Saturday, drunk of their asses, or watch 3 young adults rolling around giggling on the ground at the Beaumont Club.  P.S. The floor at the Beaumont Club could probably be studied for the next industrial strength glue.  It's really that gross and sticky.

In the meantime, I'm going to start re-evaluating my idea of "Fun".  I don't think it includes the things it used to.  I don't think I'll be off the booze forever, but I do however, think that my days of binge drinking are over. 

Just so you can be as horrified as I was, here's a list of strange things I saw:

1. Goth people making out on the balcony of Ernie Biggs. at 3pm. In broad daylight.
2. 3 girls rolling around giggling on the ground. In broad daylight.  It truly was like one of the episodes of True Blood Season 2...with Maryanne and the crazy eyes and the orgies.
3. A man with a mullet wig, wearing full on scuba gear.  Don't worry, he hit on one of my friends.
4. A Ron Blagoyavich look-alike.  Don't worry, he also hit on one of my friends.
5. A kid who could barely stand or keep from slurring like a maniac smoked half a cigarette with the wrong end lit.  Seriously, who does that???

Weight Loss FAIL.

In my first week off of the crazy 700 calorie diet, I made a lot of what we would call "poor choices".  Don't get me wrong, I stayed within my points (my daily 26 + the 35 flex points) BUT, if I learned anything from the last 5 months, it's not how much you eat, it's WHAT you eat.  Apparently, once I stop paying someone to tell me what to do, I act like a Catholic schoolgirl in Cancun on Spring Break.  In other words, I had zero self-control.

The week started off pretty good.  My first major slip up involved my number one favorite thing to eat: Almonds.  I had absolutely no idea how little the serving size was, but when all was said and done, I had eaten 22 points worth of almonds in one sitting!  The rest of the day was filled with Salad and Salsa for the dressing.  Right after that, I had a major slip up.  My coworker brought in pumpkin donuts.  There are very few things in this world that I like more than anything pumpkin.  It was more than I could resist.  I ate 20 points worth of pumpkin donut.  I stayed within my points that day too.  I ate a lot of WW soup.  The following day was my friend MG's bachelorette party.  It seems like I ate my body weight in gyro meat but I thought I'd be fine because I had flex points left.

Today, I had my first WW weigh in.  I gained .6 lbs.  Yeah, that's not terrible.  It's not good either.  I know I need to make better choices and I think I've committed to doing that from this point on.  I had a long talk with my friend SG about it during our walk home at 4am from Power and Light.  She reminded me of all the things that I used to do that I guess I need to get into the habit of doing again.  Substitutions, in particular.

So, here's to re-committing and making better choices.  I sure hope I have a bit of success this week.  I was pretty sad about the gain.

6 years feels like 6 decades as far as I'm concerned.

Today I blog from underneath a fuzzy blanket on my sofa at almost 2pm, still in my pajamas.  Last night was MG's bachelorette party. In a word, it was "Epic."  Note that I capitalized the work "Epic." Yeah. That should communicate to you how serious this event was.  It deserves Title Caps.

As I look down at my hands as I type, I can see the tell tale sign of a person who went to a lot of bars last night.  My wrist is encircled with the neon orange wrist band from the KC Live Trolley. The back of my hand is mottled with the entry stamps of a couple different bars. However, let's face it; I'm just not 25 anymore.  I'm 31. (Eww)  I haven't had alcohol in almost 6 months but decided to have a few drinks last night.  The result was not the carefree fun or guaranteed good times of my early to mid 20's.  Basically, it made my tummy hurt and I felt like I got a hangover immediately.  Fast forward to today and I feel like my body absolutely hates me and the world is punishing me for something equivalent to clubbing a baby seal.  In summary, I don't feel great.

I was struck by the marked difference in celebrating a bachelorette party now as opposed to when I was 25.  There is a box of bachelorette goodies that has been passed down in our group of friends from girl to girl.  With each new bachelorette party, the box gets more and more full with new obnoxious penis themed things.  Straws, necklaces, sippy cups....you name it, we have it in that box.  I picked up the box from the last bachelorette and SG and I started to go through it.  She basically said "Man, this stuff was a lot cooler when we were 25."  This was especially funny because I'm the oldest of the group.  The rest of the group is either 28 or 29.  If they felt that way just 3-4 years later, imagine how I felt 6 years later. 

The feeling of excitement to be with a group of girls who are toting around inappropriate bachelorette gear and most likely a veil with birth control laced into it or a sparkly tiara and sash seems to be replaced by a feeling of uneasiness that people will judge us for being immature and ridiculous.  The good news is that we all still look young (of course) and that really, it's probably all just in our heads. *phew*

When KT gets the 495 pics of her camera, I'll supply you with some visual aids.  In the meantime, here are some memorable quotes:

JE: "Is it me, or are songs really super sexual these days?  I mean, it makes me uncomfortable."
SG: "OMG. There's a hobbit at this bar."
SG: "I'm pretty sure that's the guy that kills girls in Aruba.  Don't leave KT alone with him."
AA: "That lady could totally take you.  And, there's nothing any of us could do to stop her either.  Good thing you apologized so sincerely"
KT: "Ewww, I wouldn't want to reside in anyone's dirty, poopy bum"
JE: "KT, you take offense to that?? Everything out of your mouth tonight has been totally more offensive than that."
KT: "What do you expect? It's a bachelorette party!!"
MG: "Congratulations, you guys got me totally hammered drunk.  That never happens.  I'm never the drunk one.
AA: "Sometimes my people are embarassing."
JE: "You know it's girl's night when one of your clan finds the deeper spiritual meaning in the nerd sitting next to you."
KT: "So, you're embarassed about the bachelorette goods now, but by the time I get married at 40, we'll be old and won't care anymore and we'll all wear all of it!"
SG: "Every trolley on the KC Night Life tour is a unique experience.  This one: Smells Illegal."
MG: "Let's go wherever those other bachelorettes don't go. They all look like Katy Perry.

"I've been dying to tell you..."

Many of you have had he distinct pleasure of meeting my dad.  He's probably one of the funniest people to ever walk the planet.  Not because he tries to be...oh no...but because he actually has no idea how damn funny he is.  One day, when I perfect my cartooning skillz, I will illustrate the Woodchuck story in its entirety.  This is story of such epic proportions, that it's probably only fair I start paying my dad royalties when I tell it and cause people to laugh so hard they cry.

For the time being, I'm just going to share a little tale of awesomeness that was dropped on me courtesy of my dad recently.  Many of you know that my mom has been in India for several weeks now.  Usually, my dad tries to entertain himself by going to friends' homes, going to the movies, going out to eat, etc.  In fact, the other day he told me that he crashed a University of Michigan Alumni dinner because he felt that he spent enough money at that university, and the least they could do was buy him dinner.  But, I digress...

In my mom's absence, my dad has taken to watching dumb television.  Last week, when I spoke to him on the phone, he told me he had been dying to talk to me about what he saw on the MTV video music awards.  Apparently, Lady Gaga (who's CD he owns and has frequent rotation in his car) was wearing a dress made entirely of meat.  He felt that she should not have been allowed on television wearing that monstrosity.
 
Fast forward to today.  This is an actual conversation we had on the phone. (I think you'll enjoy it more if you read the dad parts with a wicked Indian accent):

*Phone rings*
Me: hello?
Dad: *sounding very urgent* Hi, Arti. Are you in a meeting right now?
Me: No, not in a meeting, but I'm at work.
Dad: *sounding relieved* Oh, that's okay.  This won't take long.  I couldn't resist calling you!
Me: *sort of worried* Why?  Is everything okay?  What's up??
Dad: I got an alert from CNN.  That Lady Gaga...man, what a train wreck...they're turning her meat dress into beef jerky.  Can you believe that?  They're going to put it in a museum.  Man, this country is crazy.
Me:  Are you serious?  That's why you're calling?
Dad: Yeah.  Isn't that crazy?
Me: Yeah. It is. Crazy.

Sometimes I wish my dad had a TV show.  I feel selfish for not sharing his hilarity with the world.

I did, in fact, WANT to look like a cartoon.

A couple days ago, I decided that it was time to get my hair cut off.  For as long as I can remember (at least several years) I've been trying to grow my hair out.  For those of you who haven't had the distinct pleasure of meeting my mom, she's blessed with incredibly thick, straight, jet-black hair.  Before she had to shave her head for Chemo, it was shin-length.  I'm talking, she could walk around with no clothes on and still be completely modest...that's the kind of hair she has.

It's not the first time I've mentioned that I lost the genetic lottery. This is just one of the hundreds of reasons why I feel that way.  My hair is thin enough to wrap a small hair tie around it 6 times.  It's also mad curly and grows at a snails pace.  While I know that some people out there think I'm prone to exaggeration,  in this instance, that is not the case.

Let's just say that after growing my hair out for years, and having it finally down to the middle of my back, the experience was, well....anti-climactic.  It didn't even look good.  It was too thin to have layers in it so it was essentially just flat to my head.  The added weight didn't help me have any volume either.

In an effort to liven things up a little, to add some volume, and have my hair look healthier in general, I decided to chop it off.  Now to the tricky stuff....to find a new 'do.  I thought about it long and hard and decided to browse Google images.  I Googled the phase "Short hair for round faces".  This just goes to show how absolutely awesome Google is.  One of the very first pictures that came up was from one of my absolute favorite Pixar films "Monsters vs. Aliens".  I've always thought I really liked the main character, Susan's hair.  I just never thought to use a cartoon character as my muse for a hairstyle.  Go figure.  I think it turned out pretty close, personally.

 Here's a side by side comparison.  I think Susan pulls it off better, but I don't think it's too bad.  Besides, from what I hear, no matter how crappy your haircut, the good news is that it'll grow back.  Words to live by :)

I want to quit the gym!!!

Unless you've been living under a large boulder for the last decade or so, chances are, you've probably seen this episode of Friends.  Chandler has been trying to quit the gym for months but the damn people at the fitness club sure don't make it easy, do they?  In an effort to help his buddy out, Ross tries to accompany Chandler to the gym and ensure that he's able to get out of his membership.  What ends up happening?  The lady with the barely there unitard tricks Ross into getting a membership too. 

I was pretty worried today when I went to the bariatric doctor.  I was fearful that something similar would happen to me.  The fact is, I needed to break up with my doctor.  Not because it hasn't worked or I'm giving up, by any means...  The truth is, it's just really flippin' expensive and with an extra car payment and closing on our house, we're trying to cut back.  I think the 800-1000 bucks I spend at the doctor would come in handy when we're settling into our new home, buying major appliances and a crapload of furniture. 

They took it pretty well.  Of course they tried to guilt me into coming still.  And, I'll be honest, I gave in.  What we landed on is that I'm going to do my thing and have a check-in in 6 weeks to see if I've lost, or gained, or stayed the same.  For that six weeks, I'm going to try something that I've tried TWICE already but with limited success.

That being said, I've decided that I'll rejoin Weight Watchers.  It didn't work that awesome for me the first or second time around because I had that pesky insulin resistance issue.  Now that I've lost over 40 pounds and my insulin is in check, it should work for me just like it would work for anyone else.  (Here's hoping anyway.  At least my fingers and toes are crossed...) $39.99 for the monthly pass seems like a pretty great bargain, and let's face it, after the anorexia with a prescription, WW is going to seem like a dream come true.  I'm hopeful that I'll make the right choices.  Lord knows I don't want the last 4 months of pain and suffering to be for nothing.

So, while I won't have updates regarding my starvation diet, I sure hope I have some fun milestones to share with ya'll regarding weight loss due to Weight Watchers.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!

San Francisco would be a lot cooler if I didn't feel like I was dying.

You're probably wondering why there's a sudden onslaught of posts all in one day.  This is especially odd considering my posts are typically few and far between.  Well, being alone in a hotel room, bored out of your mind will prompt you to find things to entertain yourself with...thus this post.  You'll have to forgive me if this is a bit steam of consciousness.  Being delirious with a fever will do that to you.

So let's start from the beginning, shall we?  On Thursday of last week, we flew from KC to MI for a wedding.  That weekend consisted of a lot of staying up late, a lot of eating things my body hasn't experienced in 4 months, and a lot of waking up early and forgetting to take my vitamins.  We flew back on Sunday evening and then the following day, I went to work and Sudhir and I got on a plane at 7pm to head to San Francisco.  Mind you, I had gone to work and woke up at the usual time.  We arrived in SF at 11pm Pacific Time.  That translates to 1am central time.  I couldn't fall asleep till 2am Pacific time and had to wake up at 6:30am to get ready to hit the conference.

Despite waking up a little groggy and tired (understandably so, since I barely slept), things were going great! I was super excited to attend UX Week 2010.  I'm very fortunate to be in an industry that's actually pretty cool and interesting.  In fact, when Sudhir looked at the topics and talks, he was jealous.  I got to listen to people in the design industry who are inspirational and who blaze new trails every day.  Not many people get to spend a week with a dude that designs for Facebook or the main designer of Guitar Hero or Rock Band.  Pretty awesome. 

I get to the conference center on Tuesday, register, and head to the main room to listen to a day worth of talks.  The speakers were engaging, the topics interesting, and the vibe was inspirational.  Around mid day, I started to notice a nagging tickle in the back of my throat.  By 4pm, it had turned into a full on sore throat and I started to feel pretty wiped out.

I had grand plans of meeting up with my former design partner, LZ, last night.  We'd been planning on it since the moment I registered for the conference and was stoked to catch up.  By the time I made it home, checked my work email, and got some dinner with the hubs, I felt like I could barely muster up the energy to walk back to the hotel, let alone meet someone for drinks at 9:30pm.  Instead, I rescheduled for tomorrow.  I went to bed around 8:30pm, woke up at 3am (again) and couldn't go back to sleep.  At this point, my throat is so sore, that the thought of swallowing raised my blood pressure because it was so painful.  Despite feeling like roadkill, I still got ready and headed to the conference because it was awesome and I didn't want to miss it.

However, today consisted of workshops.  Interactive workshops that required collaboration, and sticky notes, and sorting, and sketching.  All of it was fun (or should have been) but mostly, I wanted to crawl under a banquet table and curl into the fetal position and go to sleep.  I knew things were bad when we went out for the lunch break and it was 90+ degrees out and I was wearing a sweater and had goosebumps.  I opted for heading back to the hotel to try to sleep it off.  I'm super bummed I missed out on the afternoon portion of the workshop. I'm even more bummed that I couldn't find a taxi and had to walk 1.7 miles back to the hotel in 90 degree weather while feeling like I was dying.

I got home, put on my PJs, apologized profusely for ruining my husbands first trip to CA, and then went to sleep with the shakes.  I woke up in a pool of my own sweat and felt like the Sahara had taken up residence in my mouth.  Awesome.  Just then, my cousin (who I was also SO excited to hang out with) showed up from LA.  The poor guy is dead broke but flew out anyway just to hang out with us.  Here I am, laying in bed, sweating profusely, and he's just walked into a scene from Outbreak.

So now, here I am...in a hotel room in San Francisco, watching Seinfeld reruns while my husband and cousin paint the town.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that Sudhir has someone to hang out with so he doesn't have to be trapped in the petrie dish also known as our hotel room...BUT, I was so excited about all of this.  Talk about anti-climactic.  Here's hoping that abuse of over the counter meds and a good night's rest will rejuvenate me for the rest of my trip.

The good news is that we get back to KC on Saturday and then immediately get back on a plane on Wednesday to go to Boston, take a bus to NJ on Thursday, and then take one back to Boston on Saturday and fly back to KC on Sunday.  Just thinking about it makes me tired.  I think I'm going to stock up on Emergen-C and Airborn.  Might as well start main-lining it now so I can try to prevent this from happening again.  I shudder to think what kind of germs I'm capable of picking up on the China Town bus.  Ack.

We're homeowners! (sorta)

As an update to those of you who didn't see my Facebook newsflash approximately 5 minutes after we found out, we're homeowners!!  Well, sorta.  The builder rejected our initial offer but accepted our second offer.  He's even throwing in fixes for some of the things I didn't like about the house (i.e exchanging the appliances for stainless steel, changing the cabinet doors, light fixtures, and paint colors on the main floor)

Our closing date is set for 10/15 so we've got plenty of time before we move.  The other nice things is that our apartment lease doesn't end until the end of November so we can move at our own pace.  I can barely stand waiting to decorate the hell out of this place.  It's gonna be epic.

Live and Learn...

They say that time heals all wounds.  They also say that life's bumps and bruises make us who we are.  This is all fine and good, but what happens if some of the mistakes you've made in the past are so disastrous that the very thought of repeating said mistake sends you into a state of panic?

Indulge me in a moment of Sophia Petrillo (a la Golden Girls):

Picture it: It's 2007, Sudhir and I have been married for about 4 months and are living in a pretty sweet apartment in Hoboken, NJ.  It's a 1 bedroom, 700 square foot place on the top floor of a high-rise building, floor to ceiling windows, and a fantastic view of the Empire State Building.  Being that we had just gotten hitched and had a bunch of money from the wedding as well as 2 of my bonuses saved, what better way to spend it than to invest in a home.

To say we had sticker shock, is an understatement.  It's downright ridonkulous how very little half a million dollars will buy you in that particular part of the country.   We ended up settling on what we thought was a fantastic deal.  a 2-story row house with a backyard (which is unheard of in that city).  It was a 2 bedroom, 2 bath and about 1240 square feet of space...all for the bargain price of $550K.  We're talking about a place that was built in the early 1900's, that had baseboard heating, and no central air.  The living room had basement sized windows and it was dark and dingy.  Be that as it may, all I saw was potential.

We immediately set out to renovate the kitchen.  We completely gutted it and installed the modern kitchen of my dreams.  See Below:

Pretty nice, right?  Anyway, to make an already long story, less long...we bought at the height of the market and basically sold at the pit of it.  The amount we lost on this place when we decided to up and leave the NYC area is more than the cost of my parents 3600 square foot home in MI.  Essentially, we had to write a check for our life savings to leave a house we had sunk so much money into already...

It's enough to scar a person.  For life.  Or so you would think.

About 2 weeks ago, we found out that our apartment may not be leased to us again because our building is going to be converted to condos on our floor.  Awesome!  This is when we first began thinking about looking at homes to buy.  Shortly thereafter, we fell head over heals in love with this place:

While it scares the bejesus out of me to consider entering into the precarious world of home ownership, I'm equally excited to start a life with greater sense of permanence in KC.  We made an offer today so we're keeping our fingers crossed till we hear back!

Queen of Nothing.

I never really think too hard about high school these days.  It might be because it's been about 15 years since I was in the throes teenage angst at its finest.  Recently, I was at a friend's house and she showed me pictures of her fiance from High School.  First let me explain her fiance in the present.  He's big, tall, bald, has a bunch of tattoos, and a goatee.  I see this picture of him from High School that was scattered among a bunch of other scrapbooked images, and I kid you not, I couldn't determine which one was him.  Turns out he was the guy that looked like Dawson Leary of Capeside, Massachusetts fame standing in front of a hot rod automobile.  I was floored.  I stared at it for a while and finally started to see the similarities. 

This started what could only be deemed a nostalgic walk down high school lane.  First I saw KT's high school scrap book.  She tried to very quickly pass through a page when MG called her out and screamed "KT, HOMECOMING QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!"  I was confused.  How had I not known that KT was homecoming queen?  How had I not known that she was a cheerleader?  I asked her this incredulously, "Really?  You were a cheerleader and homecoming queen??"  MG quickly replied that every girl from a small town had been a cheerleader at some point in their lives.  Not so.  I'm from a pretty podunk town in MI and I'm pretty sure I was never a legit cheerleader.  I mean, I once choreographed a skit in my basement with a bunch of friends making fun of cheerleaders, but that's as close as it got.  (P.S. I actually videotaped it and it's pretty hilarious.) 

Anyway, thinking back to High School, I didn't particularly like the cheerleaders.  Maybe it was the fact that I was so different from them, it's hard to say.  I was friends with a candidate for homecoming queen but that was a fluke.  She was friends with everyone and she wasn't a cheerleader. 

We move onto MG's yearbook.  Holy crow...this girl was in EVERYTHING!  She had her own column in the newspaper, she was in FFA (No joke, Future Farmers of America!) Come to think of it, so was KT, but, I digress.  She was also the queen of Music Festival.  At this point I'm really starting to feel inadequate.  I wasn't ever queen of anything and here I am surrounded by royalty.

I went home and actually looked at my high school scrapbook.  I found myself smiling a lot.  I may not have been queen of anything and I certainly wasn't a cheerleader, but boy, did I have fun!  It's very clear to me that I lived in a complete and utter bubble.  I had no idea that bad things happened in high school.  If you would have told me that people drank or had sex or did drugs in high school, it would have been like telling a 3 year old there's no Santa.  I wouldn't believe you.  It went against everything I knew.  I think the reason that high school is filled with such great memories for me is that I had some pretty spectacular friends.  We may not have been going to parties or getting drunk or having sex, but we had some pretty great times, nonetheless.  It just goes to show that it doesn't matter where you are, it's all about who you're with and what you make of it. 

But still, I sure would like a crown for something...

Insulin Resistant No Longer!!!!

Prepare yourself, readers.  This is going to be a post that seriously abuses and overuses exclamation points!!!  I mentioned in a previous post that I had fasting labs and would soon know if my fasting insulin rate was finally under control.  When I started on this journey, my goal was to lose 10-15% of my body weight so that it would change the way my system metabolizes insulin.  That's pretty much the only way to get my PCOS under control and have a shot at not being barren in the children department.  Forgive me for getting into boring medical crap, but I'm Indian so it's genetic and I can't help it.

A normal fasting insulin rate is from 0.0-24.9.  I was taking Metformin when I had my original labs taken.  It's a drug that's supposed to regulate your insulin production and therefore, my insulin level should have been pretty decent.  It wasn't.  It was over twice what it should be at 52.6.  At 6 weeks, when I had lost about 8% of my body weight and was off the metformin, it was at 32.8.  Today, I got my 12 week results and my levels were *drumroll, please* 18.1!!!  That's well below the normal range!  At this point, I've lost a grand total of 39.3 pounds and 16.2% of my body weight!!!

Truth be told, this week was riddled with less than optimal food choices for me.  My brother and cousins were in town for 3 days and we ate out every meal.  Not only that, I traveled to Wisconsin and indulged in key lime pie and a dessert in a shot glass.  Not my best week and I still lost 3.6 pounds.  This leads me to believe that maybe my Metabolism is starting to kick in!  I literally need only lose 9.5 more pounds and then I can start eating real food again on the regular without feeling guilty about it!

I promised ya'll that I'd post the before and after pictures once I got digital copies of them.  Sorry they're less than optimal.  I had to take a picture with my phone of the photos in the folder.  They're kind of blurry.  I don't think I look that different but maybe I've just got a warped perception of myself.  Here ya go:

Before: 4/11/10            After: 7/11/10

A fiscal quarter of starvation (and other updates)...

Today I had my three month check in with Dr. Tague.  The funny part about this check in with Dr. Tague is that I've only met him one other time.  At that point, he said "You are a very overweight and unhealthy girl.  Let's take care of this!"  You can imagine that I wanted to punch this dude in the face.  Nothing makes me angrier than a 110 pound midget looking up and me and calling me a fatty-fatty-boombalatty.

Here's the skinny on what went down at this appointment.  I still don't know if my insulin issue is fixed yet. I have fasting labs next week and then I'll know if I need to go back on Metformin or not.  We adjusted my goal from a total weight loss of 77 pounds to 58 pounds.  That seems way more reasonable to me.  Given this, I'm now 59% of the way to my goal (I lost 2.4 lbs this week and 33.7 lbs total)

They took a 12 week picture so we can compare that one to my before picture.  I'll post it when I can get an electronic copy of it.  They also took measurements.  I've lost 18 inches from my body.  a whopping 3 inches from each thigh, 3 inches from my chest, and 3 more from my waist.  It's all very exciting.

When I'm 85% to my goal (an additional 15 lbs) they'll start introducing regular foods back into my diet slowly.  They'll start with fruits, and then whole grains, and then starches.  I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it!!

Another bonus, I built back some of that muscle I had lost.  I'm back up to 120lbs of sheer lean muscle.  I'm kinda proud of that fact.  I'm also proud of the fact that I can now run a half mile without wanting to die.  Yay me!

In other news, we have returned to a one cat household.  Kona was just too sick to deal with and it wasn't helping that he kept infecting Chai with whatever he had.  The shelter insurance may cover Kona, but not Chai!  The money we've spent in the ten days that we had the little guy is more than we pay for rent.  That's not okay.  The shelter gave me attitude until I told them the laundry list of things wrong with Kona.  Then they apologized profusely and promised I can have kittens for life with the fee waived because the vet should have made sure that the kitten was healthy before putting him up for adoption.  Taking him back to the shelter was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I'm happy to report that it was for the best.  Chai is back to his usual lovable self.  I guess he likes being an only child.

While we went from a two cat household to a one cat household, we moved from a one car household to a two car household.  Trying to live in a city with no real public transportation infrastructure is pretty hard with two people and one car.  I'll admit that for the most part, we've made it work.  However, it gets pretty old being stuck if the other person has a car.  Now that Sudhir wants to go to Baseball games and go golfing, we felt it would be a good idea for us to each have our own cars.  It also gets some of the expense out of the way for if and when we finally decide to buy a house.  Buying a house AND a car at the same time is pretty hard on the wallet. 

That's it for now, I guess.  Stay tuned for further updats.

Kittens, Vampires, and Diets...

Yeah, there's no real theme to this post.  I have a lot of updates so please excuse my random and schizophrenic post.  Here are the updates:

Kittens...
Kona is still sick.  We've now sunk just about 200 bucks on this little guy in a little over a week!  He's still sneezing up a storm (leaving our belongings looking like they've been rained upon).  This is after two different types of antibiotics, a treatment for the Cat Herp, and 3 trips to the vet.  He also still has worms slowly making their exodus from his little kitten booty.  In yet another unexpected development, the vet hospital that did his neutering made a little mistake, leaving his man business not fully tucked in.  There's a bit of tissue that's hanging out and has become infected.  It's easy to tell where Kona has been, just follow the stains he's left all over the place of puss and blood. 

In a sentence, Sudhir said "Are there lemon laws on kitties???"  I love the little furball but DAMN!  Another surgery to remove the tissue, possibly putting him in a kitty chamber to be nebulized if the antiobiotics don't work, it's all WAY more than we signed up for.  I'm seriously contemplating returning him to the Independence Animal Shelter because we can't keep dropping money on this kitten.  I didn't sign up for a "fixer upper".

In other cat news, Kona has been dubbed the Outbreak Monkey of Kittens because he has gotten Chai sick.  Chai is sneezing, coughing, lethargic, and has had a fever for quite some time.  I love Kona, but I love Chai more.  (I know it's not PC to love one child than another, but this is a little different.)  To make things worse, Chai ate a crapload of Kona's kitten food.  This caused a trip to the Cat E.R. when Chai threw up like 15 times in 30 minutes and began crying out in pain.  $761 dollars later, he had a cat IV, bloodwork, an X-ray, and an enema.  Fantastic. 

For those of you keeping track at home, that's almost a whopping $1,000.00 on feline hospital bills (in a flippin WEEK!)  It's all more than I can take.

Vampires...
Those of you who know me, know that I have an unhealthy obession with the Twilight book series.  I've probably ready them all like 5 times at this point.  When I finished the series the first time, I was totally sad and felt like there was a hole in my life.  I was pretty stoked when they said they were making the books into movies.  That was, until, I actually SAW the first movie.  I think I apologized around 25 times during the course of the movie for making Sudhir go watch it with me.  Still, despite the absolute horrendous filmmaking, acting, and screenplay, I enjoyed it because it let me relive the saga.  New Moon came out and I was slightly less appalled by the acting and definitely impressed with some of the special effects.  However, the screenplay was certainly still sub-par. 

Last night, I went and saw the midnight showing of Eclipse.  Mind you, I went in with the absolute lowest of expectations.  I had read some of the IMBD reviews and it had gotten 3.3 stars out of 10 (never a good sign!)  I was really pleasantly surprised by this third movie.  I didn't snicker once at the cheese factor or the horrible acting.  I think the crew took some acting lessons.  Kristen Stewart wasn't nearly as annoying, I didn't think Robert Pattinson sounded like he had a speech impediment and looked constipated, and Taylor Lautner was endearing.  The special effects were awesome, and the screenplay (while inaccurate to the book at times) wasn't half bad either.  It made me have a little hope that Breaking Dawn isn't going to suck so bad.  Overall, I give it a 7 out of 10.

Diet...
The running thing has definitely NOT countered the cheating thing.  I worked out every single day except three in the last two weeks and in those two weeks, I lost a combined total of 2.8lbs.  That's nothing to write home about, if you ask me.  I've vowed to try to be strict about it again.  I'm telling you though, it's super hard to be that nazi about it when you have guests over every single weekend.  No one wants to watch me eat string cheese and shakes for 4 days in a row, so we tend to go out to eat.  My total weight loss is at 31.5 lbs in 11 weeks.  It's not bad, but I was expecting a whole lot more.  I have my 3 month (PS, I can't even BELIEVE I've survived 3 months!!!) checkup with the doctor a week from today.  I'm planning on discussing what my actual goal is.  At this point, they still want me to lose another 45.5 lbs.  I think that's a bit excessive.  I didn't set out on this adventure to be a size 6.  I mostly wanted to get this insulin problem out of the way so I could break the vicious cycle of weight gain that was happening to me despite my best efforts to lose weight.  Once I get the insulin under control, I'll be like everyone else.  I can do Weight Watchers and actually make progress.  I'll obviously keep everyone posted.