"I've been dying to tell you..."

Many of you have had he distinct pleasure of meeting my dad.  He's probably one of the funniest people to ever walk the planet.  Not because he tries to be...oh no...but because he actually has no idea how damn funny he is.  One day, when I perfect my cartooning skillz, I will illustrate the Woodchuck story in its entirety.  This is story of such epic proportions, that it's probably only fair I start paying my dad royalties when I tell it and cause people to laugh so hard they cry.

For the time being, I'm just going to share a little tale of awesomeness that was dropped on me courtesy of my dad recently.  Many of you know that my mom has been in India for several weeks now.  Usually, my dad tries to entertain himself by going to friends' homes, going to the movies, going out to eat, etc.  In fact, the other day he told me that he crashed a University of Michigan Alumni dinner because he felt that he spent enough money at that university, and the least they could do was buy him dinner.  But, I digress...

In my mom's absence, my dad has taken to watching dumb television.  Last week, when I spoke to him on the phone, he told me he had been dying to talk to me about what he saw on the MTV video music awards.  Apparently, Lady Gaga (who's CD he owns and has frequent rotation in his car) was wearing a dress made entirely of meat.  He felt that she should not have been allowed on television wearing that monstrosity.
 
Fast forward to today.  This is an actual conversation we had on the phone. (I think you'll enjoy it more if you read the dad parts with a wicked Indian accent):

*Phone rings*
Me: hello?
Dad: *sounding very urgent* Hi, Arti. Are you in a meeting right now?
Me: No, not in a meeting, but I'm at work.
Dad: *sounding relieved* Oh, that's okay.  This won't take long.  I couldn't resist calling you!
Me: *sort of worried* Why?  Is everything okay?  What's up??
Dad: I got an alert from CNN.  That Lady Gaga...man, what a train wreck...they're turning her meat dress into beef jerky.  Can you believe that?  They're going to put it in a museum.  Man, this country is crazy.
Me:  Are you serious?  That's why you're calling?
Dad: Yeah.  Isn't that crazy?
Me: Yeah. It is. Crazy.

Sometimes I wish my dad had a TV show.  I feel selfish for not sharing his hilarity with the world.