The Napkin of Mexico

So this past weekend, the hubs, myself, and a bunch of friends went to Cozumel, Mexico to watch our dear friends MG and JS get hitched.  I can't think of many better ways to spend a weekend, honestly.  During the course of our 4 days in Mexico, a lot of really awesome stuff went down.  So much so, that one night, while we were at the "late night" restaurant eating some questionable pizza, Cec, the hubs and I wrote some of it down.  We managed to fill the front and back of 4 sides of a giant napkin with little anecdotes for me to blog about when I got home.  I shared said napkin with KT as we awaited the departure of our plane.  Sadly, the napkin was lost in a tragic twist of fate.  The bad news is that we lost it and it was funny.  The good news is two fold: I have a photographic memory so I didn't need it anymore anyway...AND...some lucky bastard is going to stumble upon it and either get a huge kick out of it or be highly confused.

Before I launch into the extremely long list of funny, let me start by saying the following:

This wedding was one of the most moving ceremonies that I've ever attended.  It's no surprise to those who know me, but I'm kind of an unemotional bastard.  I don't typically cry at movies or weddings, or when babies are born.  I will go on the record as saying that I cried (heavily) at three different points during this wedding.  That's pretty intense for me.  MG made for a beautiful bride and she looked positively joyful.  The ceremony was just so...I don't know..."Them."  I simply couldn't be happier for them.  It's really clear that they're perfect for one another.

Okay, that being said, now to the funny/odd/interesting stuff.

The day of 8 modes of transportation
Auto: we started at 5:30am by driving to pick up Cec and KT and heading to the Parking Spot where be got onto a
Bus: which we took to the terminal (only to realize I forgot my phone in the car.  No biggie except for I took the trouble to add the international data plan) and back to the Parking Spot and then back to the terminal where we got onto a
Plane: which we took to Dallas and then had to switch terminals so we got onto a
Train: A skylink to be precise.  We rode that to the next terminal and got onto another
Plane: which we took to Cancun.  We missed the ferry to Cozumel so we hung out at Senor Frog's for a couple hours.  At Senor Frogs, we were tortured because apparently, our F-off faces weren't secured well enough.  They made fun of me for drinking water, shot me with a tank of Helium, and also pretended to be a cockroach crawling on my leg.
Awesome.  Eventually, we got on the
Ferry:  There are few things in this world that I hate more than being on a boat.  Well, add to it the fact that it was extremely rough waters, it was packed with people, and smelled like a gas spill.  You basically have a recipe for disaster.  Everyone I was with passed out and took a little siesta, while I tried to think of ways to not vomit in my purse.  Once we got off the ferry in Cozumel, we got into a
Van: which we took all the way to the Occidental Grand Resort where we traveled by
Foot: Through a jungle on a path filled with wildlife (also high up on the list of things I hate) to our rooms.

I'll spare you the excruciating detail on the rest of the trip.  Let's just say that after our long and arduous journey on Thursday, things got a whole heck of a lot better.  MG and JS roll with an extremely fun bunch of people and I think it says a lot that 35 of those people hauled their little booties across the Mexican border to watch them get hitched.  What can we say?...we love those crazy kids.

So here's the rest of it, grouped by person it involved.

KT: After our long day of travel, I felt pretty terrible.  I mean, my head was POUNDING.  We're all sitting in the lobby bar and I'm trying not to look miserable.  All of a sudden, KT turns to me with a very serious look and says "Do you think they have straws here?" I said that they probably didn't since I hadn't seen any.  To which she responds with an extremely serious face "This is gonna be a long weekend."

At another point, KT puts on a dress that she got from a friend.  For some reason, she thought it looked less than respectable.  I knocked on her door to go down to dinner and she opens the door and again, with a very serious face, "Do I look like a huge whore?" 

Also later on in the evening, while we were all hanging out outside of the Discotecha, she looks at all of us very seriously (MG in particular) and says "Man, I hate the sun, the ocean, and drinking.  Oh, and I hate all of you too.  This sucks."

Cec:  Cec is what we'd call a "Food snob".  At one point, she accused the resort of abusing potato flakes in the guacamole and eggs.  She may or may not have said that after she said the following: "Whoa, I just went from 0-100 in drunkness in 10 minutes flat."

There was also a funny situation during the wedding rehearsal that Cec and I shared.  It started monsooning and we were already in the pool.  When it monsoons, it gets pretty cold. Therefore, we didn't want to get out of the pool.  Staying in the pool was difficult too because the rain was so hard, it was hitting the surface of the pool and bouncing up into our faces.  We decided to pull a MacGyver and grab a pool chair and use it as a fort.  Evidence:

A Jill (reporter on the beat): This chick is quite possibly the funniest person to ever walk the face of the planet.  Sadly, I wasn't awake when she arrived into Cozumel.  However, I heard this story about how MG and others led her to the ocean (which she hadn't ever seen aside from in Japan) and she stared up at the sky and the water and said "Is this real life?" I didn't get it until I saw that amazeball video clip about the kid on Nitrous Oxide after the dentist.

Also hilarious was a conversation at the pool in which she said that it was on her 30 before 30 to see Iguana Poop.  Check and Check.