Jesus Christ, I'm Danny DeVito.

Fair warning: this is a pity party and you're invited.  Please indulge me in a momentary lapse of "Why me??!!!" whiny-ness.

I hate to admit that I actually have seen the movie Twins enough to be able to relate to Danny DeVito's character...but alas, I have.  Okay, so I may not be an orphan, midget, bald, hairy or a genetic experiment like the character of Vincent...  BUT  ... I can most definitely relate to something he said to Arnold Schwartzneggar's character.

"I'm the leftover crap?  I'm genetic garbage??"

Those of you who know me are well aware of my penchant for being slightly dramatic...however, I gotta ask...why did I lose the genetic lottery?  My immediate family is the picture of health.  My brother is a vegetarian who dabbles in seafood and is in better shape now than he was in high school.  My mom kicked breast cancer's ass and is stronger than ever.  My dad, while he has some issues with cholesterol, has the heart of someone half his age. 

Here I am, at the age of 31 years old (God, that kills me to say...) and I'm currently starving myself to have a chance at having a kid because my ovaries are ravaged by PCOS.  As a result of said starvation, I started to feel like I had some weird feeling of pressure or tightness in my chest.  I was told that this is something that needs to be paid close attention to because of the strain on my heart from consuming only 700 calories.  I scheduled an appointment for an Echocardiogram (which I had this morning) and it turns out that my heartbeat is irregular.  I haven't gotten much more detail than that but I assume my primary care physician will analyze the results and tell me if I should be worried or not.  In the course of trying to explore whether applying pressure to different areas would relieve the discomfort, I found what I thought was a muscle knot on my left breast. 

After seeing my OB, it turns out it's not a muscle knot.  It's what we'd call an "Irregular mass".  Adding to the marathon of doctor appointments, I now have one tomorrow for  mammogram, ultrasound, and sonagram.  This thing is coming out and we'll determine from that point on if it's nothing or if it's something.  The doctor told me that it's 85% nothing, so that's good news.  I'm mostly pissed that I can't catch a break.  How many simultaneous health issues can a person deal with WHILE starving??? 

I'll tell you what:  A giant slice of cake never sounded so good.  What's keeping me motivated?  24.5 lbs down in 7 weeks.