I'm extremely close to my parents. Sure, I felt like they were comparable to some of the most notorious dictators of our time when I was in my angsty teen years, but really, who didn't feel that way at some point in their tumultous teens? After I went to college, there was a distinct change in the way they treated me. Suddenly, they weren't subscribing to their typical "helicopter" parenting style, in which they were all up in my grill about pretty much everything. One weekend I came home from college, and as usual, I wanted to meet up with all my old high school friends. Rather than demand I be home by the time the street lights came on, my dad simply asked, "Are you coming home tonight?"
I couldn't believe my ears. I'm sorry,what? Am I coming home tonight? Is not coming home an option? When I looked at him incredulously, he elegantly stated, "Well Arti, we certainly can't tell you what to do when you're away at college and we can't keep an eye on you there...Why bother here. I mean, we just have to sit back and hope that we did a decent enough job as parents and hope we don't end up disappointed..." Well said, I think. But something about the way he said it and the fact that all of a sudden I was a grown up...it resonated with me. All of a sudden, they were trusting me. It felt a little bit like the apocalypse...only slightly less scary. My parents have high expectations so not disappointing them isn't as easy as one might think. That was a lot of pressure at the time, people.
Needless to say, I think I did an alright job in avoiding major disappointments. Over the years, I've enjoyed the rewards of having two of the funniest indivudals as parents. I mean, I don't even think they know how hilarious they are. They're epically funny without the slightest bit of effort. Some people have heard me lament about how I'm missing the parenting gene. The more I think about it, the more I think it's less that than it is the terrifying prospect of living up to their standard of parenting. They're really a tough act to follow...
I sometimes take for granted that my parents are going to be around forever. I've already realized that it's parallel to an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. An ostrich does that when it feels threatened because it thinks "Hmm, something scary is happening. Maybe if I stick my head in the sand and I can't see it...it doesn't exist." Unfortunately, this ostrich has had its head yanked out of the sand twice; first when my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer*, and once again right after New Years.
Today, dear readers, I blog from the side of a hospital bed in Dearborn, MI. My dad has an unusual stress test, which led the doctors to do some sort of weird ink-in-the-veins** 3D scan of his heart. This too, was inconclusive... so today they did a catheterization to figure out if it was something more serious. Here's the good news: It's not.
Regardless, even the thought of ever losing either parent is enough to send my blood pressure into the stratosphere. So, for now, this ostrich is goin' under again. But before I go, I just really had to share some gems from my dad that he said right before they took him into the procedure room (please note that he was loopy on Xanex)
Today is Ash Wednesday...therefore there are a smattering of medical professionals here that have the ash cross on their foreheads, including the lady wheeling him around. I went in to wish him good luck and tell him I love him. He looks at me with his glassy eyes and a goofy grin and asks "Arti, do you know that that is?" Please picture him repeatedly making the sign of the cross on his forehead in a crazy fashion. So I told him that, Yes, I did know what it was. So he said, "ARTI...DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS???" Still frantically making the sign of the cross. I told him again that I did. He starts laughing maniacally and says "Good. Me too."
He then proceeded to ask me if I was friends with the Internet.
The nurse asked him if he was wearing any jewelery. At this point, he gets a goofy look on his face again and says, "No jewelery...just the family jewels."
True story, you can't make this shit up.
*She's totally in remission now and healthier than ever. P.S. never watch "The Family Stone" if you're dealing with a mother diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It will ruin your life.
**Yes, this is a completely accepted medical term. I'm Indian so I'm practically a doctor anyway.
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