1.22.2010

Wait a minute...ALL doctors don't suck?? I've been duped.

Today, I had an excellent experience at a doctor's office.  It was so fantastic, in fact, that I felt I had to share it with the 3 people that read my blog (You know who you are...)

In the past, I've had some pretty terrible experiences at phsycian's offices.  It would be an epic blog entry if I tried to document all of them...so instead...I'll give you the top 3 WORST experiences with physicians.

#3:  Random doctor at University Health Services at University of Michigan, cerca 2002 - I had gone in because I had a slight fever and was feeling dizzy.  The fine medical professional told me the only obvious things that could be wrong with me:  You're either pregnant or have HIV.  We should run some tests.  Uh, okay, lady.  First off, if I'm pregnant, we've got some problems.  Immaculate conception only happens to religious figures in Christianity...not to Hindu girls in grad school.  Second of all, I don't think I've had any major blood transfusions, so HIV is out too.  Maybe you should just give me some antibiotics and not scare the crap out of me.

#2:  Dr. Jones, Midtwn Manhattan, cerca 2006 - I was sick.  I had a fever, I had a sore throat, I had nausea, AND, I was at work.  Why was I at work?  Because at the time, I refused to use one of my paid time off days being sick instead of on vacation doing something fun.  Anyway, I went to work, had such a sore throat and bad cough that I could barely catch my breath and then all of a sudden had to take off in a sprint to go yak.  I go to the doctor (next door) and I look and feel like a wreck.  Dr. Jones sees me, asks me what's wrong, doesn't even come near me to check my throat or glands, and prescribes me two things:  Naproxin (pain med) and Clonopin.  I ask him what clonopin is and he tells me it's an anti-anxiety/sedative.  This obviously confused me so I asked him why he would prescribe that to me.  He said on my medical history, there was a true/false statement that read "I feel anxious sometimes" and I had marked it true.  Yes, no shit, dude...who DOESN'T feel anxious sometimes. Have you ridden the subway lately?  Or have you been to the basement of Port Authority?  If you DON'T feel anxious doing those things, you might want to check and see if you have a pulse, homes.  So basically, I walked away from the doctor's office, with a legit flu and nothing but some aleve and some crazy pills.  Thanks, Dr. Jones.  Thanks a bunch.

#1:  Dr. Beracha, Midtown East, cerca late 2008 - As most of you know, near the end of 2008, I was starting to slowly lose my mind.  Apparently, working 80 hours a week for more than a year isn't sustainable and is not so good for your mental OR physical health.  Around that time, I decided to go to a dermatologist to have some skin tags removed.  Upon taking a look at my skin, she asked me if I'd ever been tested for a condition called PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome)  Sounds scary, but mostly it causes some less than desirable symptoms and difficulty having children.  Anyway, she told me the symptoms, and yup, I had every single one of them.  Based on this new discovery, I make an appointment with my obgyn to get it tested out.  I'd already had my yearly exam 6 months earlier, so when I show up at the office, she asks me what's up.  I show her an article I had printed from WebMD and I'd highlighted all the symptoms I had (99% of them).  I tell her, "I think I have this."  She pulls out my chart and takes a look.  Then she points to her notes section where it said "PCOS".  Dr. Beracha says "Yeah, you have it.  See, I wrote it down right here..."  Yes, I see that.  You wrote it down. Good for you.  Was I supposed to come to your office and read that for myself or might it have been a good idea to TELL ME???  Then she went on to say that she couldn't believe she wouldn't tell me something like this.  At this point, I told her that I could assure her that's not something I would forget and I'd rather have each of my fingernails pulled out one by one with pliers than come to the gyno voluntarily.  To make a long story short, I reported her to the board of ethics and I hope she lost her license before she forgot to tell someone they had cancer or something.

So today, as I left the doctor's office after spending no less than 1.5 hours talking to my new doctor, I felt as though the universe is trying to make it all up to me.  My new doctor is patient, talks to me like a real person, and has an actual plan.  I hope it's not a trick.  If it is, don't worry...I'm sure you'll hear all about it.

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